Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (2019)

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A year after the Battle of Crait, Kylo Ren discovers that, somehow, Emperor Palpatine is still alive. Initially hoping to kill him, Kylo is persuaded to join Palpatine after he sees that the latter has, somehow, by himself, created an entire fleet of Star Destroyers. He also learns that Rey is Palpatine’s granddaughter, and that Palpatine wants to kill and/or convert her, depending on what scene he’s in. Meanwhile, Rey learns that Palpatine is alive, and so she, Finn and Poe set off to find a dagger, which will help them find a thing, which will lead them to the Emperor. I think. Will they do any of that? Watch the movie to find out. Continue reading

Doctor Sleep (2019)

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Decades after escaping the Overlook Hotel, Danny Torrence is still haunted by the memories, and spirits, of that evil place. To suppress them, and his psychic abilities, Danny has followed in his father’s footsteps by becoming an alcoholic. When he hits rock bottom, however, and is given the chance to redeem himself by working at a hospice, Danny takes it, using his “shine” to comfort dying patients in their last moments, earning the nickname, “Doctor Sleep.” He also begins communicating with Abra Stone, a young girl with abilities even stronger than his. Their joy won’t last long, however, since the True Knot, a group of people who eat those with the shining, have become aware of their presence, and are hunting them down. So now, to save Abra, Danny will have to lure the True Knot to the Overlook Hotel, and awaken it, and his own, suppressed demons. Will this desperate plan work? Watch the movie and find out. Continue reading

Valerian & The City Of A Thousand Planets (To Infinity Retrospective)

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Do I have to? Ugh. Fine. Okay, like, welcome to the To Infinity Retrospective, a series created in preparation for Rise Of Skywalker. Blah, blah, blah. Look, we’re only 18 days out from the premiere, so we had to do one more of these. And what better way to end this series of Space Opera reviews than with Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets? (He said sarcastically). What’s it about? Hell if I know, but keep reading and try to find out. Continue reading

Raving For Rian: Looper (2012)

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In the future, Time Travel has been outlawed. The only people who use it are crime syndicates, as a means of getting rid of bodies. If the mob wants someone gone, they send them back to the present, and then a special assassin called a “Looper” kills them, and disposes of their corpse. The only rule of looping is that you never let your target escape, even if that target is yourself. So what will Joe, a selfish, drug-addicted Looper, do when his future self appears, and manages to escape hiss grasp? Hunt him down, and pray that he can kill the latter before he changes anything. Continue reading

Raving For Rian: The Brothers Bloom (2009)

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The Brothers Bloom are con men. They have been since they were children. Stephen, the elder, devises elaborate schemes to steal people’s money, while Bloom, the younger, earns the trust of their marks. At this point, they’re so successful that they’re world famous, and have a frequent accomplice, the stoic explosives expert Bang Bang. Despite all this, Bloom is tired of the con life, and wants to retire, but Stephen convinces him to stay on for one last job; the seduction and robbery of sheltered heiress Penelope Stamp. Bloom will befriend her, invite her on a cruise with him, and then trick her into giving away her fortune. But what will happen when Bloom actually winds up developing feelings for the highly quirky Penelope? Watch the movie and find out. Continue reading

Raving For Rian: Brick (2005)

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Welcome to Raving For Rian: a brief series of reviews I decided to write in preparation for the release of Rian Johnson’s new movie, Knives Out. Every day this week, leading up to the Thanksgiving premiere, I’ll be reviewing one of his movies. I covered his fourth flick, Star Wars: The Last Jedi, when it came out, and now I’m going all the way back to the beginning, to his directorial debut, Brick. Continue reading

The Lighthouse (2019)

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It’s the late 19th century, and Robert Pattinson has been sent to a remote Lighthouse to assist the caretaker, Willem Dafoe. Unfortunately, the two don’t get along at all, with Dafoe being an abusive, demanding boss, and Pattinson being an unhinged, rebellious employee. Things only get worse when a storm cuts them off from the rest of the world, and Pattinson begins to hallucinate mermaids and other bizarre, supernatural creatures washing up onshore. Will the two make it out alive, and with their sanity intact? Watch the movie to find out. Continue reading