Bright (2017)

Greetings Loved Ones! Liu Is The Name, And views Are My Game.

In an alternate reality where Humans, Orcs and Elves all live side by side, the LAPD, hoping to appear more diverse, hires it’s first Orcish police officer, Nick Jacobi. Jacobi is paired with veteran beat cop Scott Ward, who dislikes Nick because he’s an Orc, and because he didn’t protect him when somebody shot at them. This leads to Ward taking a deal with the Feds, wherein he’ll wear a wire, and get Jacobi to confess that he’s more loyal to his race than to the law. But all that takes a back seat when the two find a young Elf, Tikka, who possesses a magic wand. Wands, as you might imagine, are super, super powerful, and a lot of people, including a gang leader, an Elf cult, and a couple of corrupt cops, want this particular wand very, very badly. So much so that they’ll kill to get it. So it’s up to Ward and Jacobi to protect the wand, avoid the people coming after them, and, of course, save the world in so doing.

Guys, I won’t lie, when I saw the first trailers earlier this year, I was intrigued. I thought the idea of melding a police procedural with high fantasy was both original and inventive, and the make up and effects I saw looked genuinely cool. But, even so, I was weary. The trailers stressed that this flick was being directed by David Ayer, the man behind Suicide Squad, Fury, and End Of Watch. And while those latter two flicks are good, and I did initially enjoy Suicide Squad, until I realized how stupid it was, the fact that Ayer was involved made me nervous. As I’ve said before, he’s a writer/director known for making gritty, hard-hitting crime films, full of profanity, macho man posturing, violence, and racial stereotypes. Seriously, his directorial debut, Street Kings, begins with a scene where Keanu Reeves¬†insults two Korean gangsters with every single Asian racial slur under the sun. And, to be honest, even his good films, like Training Day and End Of Watch, are full of cliched non-white characters, like Latino men who call each other “homes” and Black men who call each other “dog.” So when Bright finally hit Netflix, I was weary, but hopeful. And now, having seen it, I can safely say, yeah, it’s bad.

Now, I do want to be fair, so I’ll start off by saying that there are elements of this film that I liked. I liked the world that this flick created. I liked the creature designs for the Orcs, Elves, and Fairies. There’s some good action in here, even if it is a bit choppily edited, and I liked the fact that this was an original story. It’s not an adaptation, spin-off, or sequel to anything, which is always a plus in my book. And, again, the lore of this world is genuinely cool. I hope someone out there decides to explore this world further, maybe by going to different cities, or countries, and examining how they treat magical creatures, because it has potential. But, beyond that, this movie is pretty much awful.

Every single negative Ayer-ism you can think of–the choppy editing, the stupid, tough guy stand offs, the racial stereotypes–is on full display in this movie. And unlike his best flicks, where you can overlook those things because the characters are interesting and the dialogue is funny, this film’s protagonists are unappealing and underdeveloped, and the dialogue is terrible. Seriously! It’s awful. Here are some actual lines spoken in this movie: “It’s bullshit.” “No, human shit.” “If you’re gonna play stupid games, you’re gonna win stupid prizes.” “If you act like my enemy, you become my enemy.” What the hell, man? The lines in this movie feel like Place-Holder Dialogue, stuff you write in a first draft to give readers the feel of what the characters are talking about, but abandon and polish when you go back and revise. And, like I said, the characters are terrible. If you asked, I couldn’t tell you one thing about them. That’s because the movie never bothers to set up their personalities. In the best buddy cop films, Lethal Weapon, Rush Hour, you get opening scenes where you’re able to watch the characters live their lives, and get a sense for who they are. And then, after you’ve gotten to know them, you get to watch them meet. In this movie, you don’t get either of those things. You don’t get to see their lives beforehand. You don’t get to watch them meet each other. Ward and Jacobi are already partners at the start of the flick, and everything about them is told to us in painfully awkward, exposition-heavy exchanges. It’s really, really bad.

Guys, don’t watch Bright. Or if you do, go in knowing that it’s not very good. It’s got a cool premise, and I would love it if other, better artists would explore its world on their own, but, by itself, this film is not worth your time.

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Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)

Greetings Loved Ones! Liu Is The Name, And Views Are My Game.

The Resistance is on the run. The First Order has destroyed their base, and they’re looking to wipe them out for good. And unlike every other time this has happened, our heroes can’t just jump into hyper-space and fly away, since the First Order has developed the means to track them. So it’s up to Finn, Po, and newcomer Rose to find a way to disable the bad guy’s ship. Meanwhile, Ray has found Luke Skywalker, and is trying to get him to come out of hiding. But this might be a harder task than previously thought, since Luke has shut himself off, not just from everyone, but the force as well.

The Last Jedi is a loud, long, visually-arresting spectacle. Did I love it? No. But did I regret going to see it? Not in the least. There’s actually a fair bit I liked in here. For starters, unlike The Force Awakens, it’s not just a carbon copy of previous films. Sure, there are elements of other Star Wars movies present, but this flick’s story is, ultimately, its own. On top of that, there’s some good humor in here. I actually laughed quite a few times in this movie, which is always good. And, as if this needs saying, the action and special effects cannot be compared. But probably what I liked the most about this movie was the relationship between Finn and Rose. Their chemistry is AMAZING! Seriously, if you told me that the actors playing them–John Boyega and Kelly Marie Tran–were dating in real life, I’d believe you, because what they have is magnetic. On top of this, Rose is a really fun, really likable character. She’s a grease monkey who repairs the rebel’s ships, and who’s not used to hanging out with big shots like Finn or Po. So, when she’s first introduced to Finn, she acts like a total fangirl, which I found very endearing. To put it bluntly, I love her, and want to see her in the next movie.

That said, the film does have problems, not least of which is the fact that it is way too long. It’s about 152 minutes, and there are definitely points where you feel that. There are so many scenes, like when Ray is trying to convince Luke to come out of hiding, and he keeps refusing, that are just dull and repetitive. We know he’s going to help her eventually, so why waste our time? On top of this, the action in here, while fun, is all so big and dramatic that it just gets tiring after a while. Seriously. There were about three points in this movie where I thought we’d reached the climax, but then, oh no, there’s another huge spaceship battle, there’s another big sword fight. I honestly felt exhausted when I got out of the theater. But by far my biggest gripe with the movie was the character of Ray. I didn’t really say anything about her in my Force Awakens review, since I didn’t think it was fair to harp on any one person, but I kind of hated her here. Everything you’ve read online about how she’s too perfect is on full display in this movie. She never grows. She never gets hurt. And she’s so strong that she’s able to beat everyone, from the main bad guy, Kylo Ren, to Luke, the dude she’s ostensibly there to learn from. People talk about Superman being too strong, but at least he has weaknesses, like Kryptonite and being overly trusting. What are Ray’s weaknesses? What are her flaws? What makes her worth watching?

Still, I’d be lying to myself if I told you I didn’t have fun with this movie. Is it too long? Yes. Is the main character a bit of a bore? You bet your ass she is. But the film’s humor, action, and the relationship between Finn and Rose are all so infectious that you end up walking out with a smile on your face. For that reason, I say, go give it a look.

The Shape Of Water (2017)

Greetings Loved Ones! Liu Is The Name, And Views Are My Game.

It’s 1962, and Elisa Esposito is a janitor at a high-tech lab. A mute, Elisa spends her days watching old movies, taking care of her roommate, Giles, and listening to her colleague, Zelda’s, marital woes. Her world is thrown into turmoil when a special asset, a humanoid Fish Creature, is brought to the facility. She becomes obsessed with it, visiting it when no one is around, playing it music, and, eventually, breaking it out, and bringing it to her apartment. This incurs the wrath of Strickland, the lab’s racist, sadistic director, as well as the Soviets, who want the creature for themselves. Will Elisa be able to outsmart them? Will she find a way to free her fish-faced love? Well, you’ll just have to watch the movie to find out.

The Shape Of Water is a well-acted, beautiful looking, richly-textured fairy tale. And I’m not sure how to feel about it. It’s not that I think it’s bad, per se. As a matter of fact, while I was watching it, I realized that it is, in many ways, the exact type of movie I love to write. A period piece, with a sci-fi or supernatural element, that also serves as a commentary on prejudice and disability? I’ve written about five scripts like that. And, again, on a technical level, this movie is perfect. It’s also not a sequel, remake, adaptation or spin-off, which is always a plus in my book.

That said, there are certain things you should probably know going in. They’re not complaints, per se; just some things to temper your expectations. For starters, the film is very slow. The first 20 minutes, which have almost no dialogue, just show us Elisa’s daily routine. Nothing important happens in them. And while they do give us a well-rounded portrait of her character, they do leave you wondering when the actual plot is going to kick in. On top of that, you don’t actually see Elisa and the Fish Man much. A lot more screen time is devoted to side characters, like her roommate, Giles, her colleague, Zelda, and even Strickland, the main villain. Yes, neither she nor the Creature can talk. But it’s never a good sign when your film’s leads are the least interesting part of the movie. And, finally, the romance in this story is not at all sugar-coated. What I mean by that is, in most romance films, particularly ones that involve a human and a supernatural creature, like King Kong or Beauty and the Beast, the filmmakers tend to keep sex out of it. Not here. There are several scenes where we watch Elisa and the Fish Monster banging. And, I’ll be honest, it made me uncomfortable.

Nevertheless, the sheer beauty, and originality, of The Shape Of Water make it worth watching. Is it slow? Yes. Are the two leads a little underdeveloped? Sure. But neither of those are enough to dampen the charm of this sweet, magical, and original fairy tale. Don’t hesitate to give it a look.

The Disaster Artist (2017)

Greetings Loved Ones! Liu Is The Name, And Views Are My Game.

Greg and Tommy are wannabe actors, trying to make it in LA. Unfortunately, no one will hire them, because, well, they suck. This depresses Tommy, who has been told by everyone that he will never make it, or if he does, it will only be as a villain. Greg tells him not to worry, that things will get better, and even suggests that they make their own movie. Tommy loves this idea, and writes a bizarre, Tennessee Williams style script, and sets about assembling a cast and crew. However, it quickly becomes apparent that Tommy, who wants to direct, and produce, and star in the film, doesn’t know what he’s doing. Will he prove them wrong? Will he and Greg deliver a cinematic experience for the ages? Well, you’ll just have to watch the movie to find out.

The Disaster Artist is a decently-acted, decently-written showbiz comedy. And it’s the sort of film that only true fans of the source material can appreciate. In case you couldn’t tell from my description, the movie documents the making of The Room, one of the most infamous “so bad it’s good” flicks of all time. Now, for people like me, who have seen The Room, and are familiar with all the in-jokes, and the writer-/director/star, Tommy Wiseau’s, odd accent and mannerisms, it’s fun. But for people who haven’t seen it before, like my parents, or my sister, it won’t be quite as enjoyable. And for people who aren’t in the film industry, or huge film buffs, there are cameos, and references, and lines of dialogue that just won’t make sense. So, for that reason, I don’t know if I can recommend it to you all. Is it enjoyable? Sure. Did I laugh? Absolutely. But I’m a screenwriter. I’m a film nerd. I’m the sort of person this is made for. Anyone else, I don’t know.

A good way for me to describe this is to talk about another movie; Tim Burton’s Ed Wood. Like The Disaster Artist, Ed Wood tells the story of a notoriously bad filmmaker, Edward D Wood Jr, who, in the 1950s, made some of the most iconically horrendous films of all time. But unlike The Disaster Artist, which just assumes you know The Room and are in on all the private jokes, Ed Wood goes into the main character’s world, tells you his story, and really humanizes him. You like him. You sympathize with him, because, even though he’s clearly not talented enough to make good films, he loves what he does, he’s loyal to his cast and crew, and he never gives up. Another, very significant, thing to consider is the fact that, in Ed Wood, you see the main character struggle. He doesn’t have money. He doesn’t have props. So a big question becomes, how can he make movies? In The Disaster Artist, Tommy is shown as having a massive personal fortune, so, already, some of the urgency is gone. On top of this, Tommy is shown as such a selfish, narrow-minded jerk that you kind of lose interest in him after a while. Then there’s the actual filmmaking to consider. The Disaster Artist is kind of ugly, with most of the shots being hand-held and shaky. Ed Wood,¬†by contrast, looks amazing, being shot in black and white, and having some absolutely exquisite period costumes and decor. What I’m saying with all this is, there are ways to make showbiz films for the general public, and I don’t think The Disaster Artist does that. Make of this what you will.