Shadow (2019)

Set during the Three Kingdoms period of Chinese history, Shadow tells the story of Ziyu, an ambitious but feeble lord who, in an attempt to conquer a walled city, hatches a scheme involving his wife, Xiao Ai, his body double, Jingzhou, and lots and lots of umbrellas. And if that sounds vague, it’s only because the actual plot is so convoluted that it’s not worth trying to explain. However, that does not mean that you shouldn’t seek out this film if it’s playing at a theater near you.

Dragged Across Concrete (2019)

When they’re caught on tape crushing a handcuffed suspect’s face into the pavement, racist, corrupt police officers Mel Gibson and Vince Vaughn are put on unpaid leave. Enraged that “the entertainment industry, formerly known as the news” has treated them “unfairly,” and believing that they have “the skills and the right to acquire proper compensation” the men decide to follow a tip from one of their criminal connections and rip off a bank heist. Of course, everything goes south when the robbers kill the tellers and take a woman hostage so our “heroes” won’t have as easy of time stealing the gold they believe they’re entitled to. Will they make it out alive? Watch the movie to find out. (Or don’t. You’ll be fine if you skip this one).

Outlaw King (2018)

In 1306, after a long and bloody war against the English, Robert Du Bruce and his fellow Scottish nobles surrender to King Edward I, and swear their endless, undying allegiance to him. Of course, Robert isn’t exactly enthusiastic about this, seeing as he views Edward as his mortal enemy, but he is pragmatic, and so accepts the latter’s rule, as well as a political marriage to the English noblewoman Elizabeth de Burgh. All seems well at first until news reaches Robert that William Wallace, a major leader in the rebellion who never surrendered, has been tortured and executed. Realizing that he must avenge the latter’s death, and gain Scotland’s independence, Robert sets about planning another campaign. In order for his plan to succeed, however, he must unite all of Scotland under one banner, and so declares himself King of Scots after, ahem, removing his chief rival for the throne. This leads to the English labeling him an outlaw, and even some of the other Scottish nobles turning on him. But Robert is determined and continues to fight for Scotland’s independence, even when he is seen as nothing more than an Outlaw with a crown. Will he succeed? Don’t ask me. Just watch the movie.

A Private War (2018)

In 2012, while covering the war in Syria, journalist Marie Colvin was killed. Colvin, The Sunday Times‘ chief war correspondent, had spent years shedding light on conflicts in the most remote corners of the globe. Her mission was simple, and always the same, to get people to care. And that’s precisely what this film, A Private War, tries to do as well; to get you to care; about Marie Colvin, about the war in Syria, and about the important, and dangerous, work of journalists. But does it succeed? Well…

Apostle (2018)

When his sister is kidnapped by a Pagan cult, former missionary Thomas Richardson journeys, in disguise, to their remote island community. Initially planning on just giving them the ransom and leaving, Thomas quickly discovers that there is more going on beneath the surface, since the community is dying, and there is dissension among the ranks. Even more disturbing than this, he discovers, one night while exploring, that there is a monstrous plant woman living out in the woods, feeding on human blood. Yikes.

Suspiria (2018)

On a stormy day in 1977, Psychiatrist Josef Klemperer is confronted by one of his patients. The girl, Patricia Hingle, a student at the Markos Dance Academy, is distraught, and seemingly delusional, claiming that the school is run by a coven of witches. Klemperer doesn’t believe her at first, until Patricia goes missing. Meanwhile, a new student from America, Susie Bannion, arrives in Berlin, and, even though she has no formal dance training, quickly rises through the Academy’s ranks, securing the lead in the next performance. This catches the eye of Madame Blonc, the headmistress, who, along with her fellow witches, believes that Susie may be the perfect vessel for their leader, Helena Markos. So they set about preparing susie for her eventual takeover, giving her special training, feeding her specific foods, but when the time finally comes, things don’t turn out how they hoped.

Bad Times At The El Royale (2018)

On a stormy night in 1969, a Priest, a Singer, a Hippie, and a Vacuum salesman all converge on the El Royale hotel. Built on the border between California and Nevada, the establishment was once the favorite getaway of politicians and celebrities, but now its all but abandoned. As such, it’s just these four people, and Miles, the nervous concierge. Things start off quiet, but as the night progresses, they quickly unravel, as it becomes clear that no one, save the Singer, is who they say they are, and that even the hotel has secrets.

Arrival (2016)

When twelve massive UFO’s arrive on Earth, the US military hires an expert linguist (Amy Adams) to try to communicate with the Aliens. Quickly realizing that oral exchange is useless, since the extraterrestrials aren’t talking in the classic sense, Adams and her team decide to use written language to try to decode what the creatures are, and why they’re on Earth. And now we have a big mystery, which, I’m sorry to say, never really gets solved. But before I launch into my complaints, I would like to list some things that really worked about this movie.

The Hateful Eight (2015)

Have you ever been to a murder mystery party before? In case you haven’t, it’s when you and your friends get together, and are given a scenario; “We are these people, at the so and so mansion, for this reason.” Each person is assigned a character, and then gets told that there’s a killer in their midst. You spend the rest of the game trying to figure out who said killer is, hopefully before he or she gets to you. It’s silly, but very fun, and gives people the chance to get creative and show off their improv chops. Plus, who doesn’t love hanging out with their friends? Well, imagine that you’re at a murder mystery party, but things are a little different. You don’t know anyone there, and when you do get to know them, you realize that they’re all bigots, rapists, and murderers. There’s no fun involved with the discovery of the killer, only necessity and petty jealousy. On top of that, certain people keep repeating the same lines over and over again, and it’s really starting to grate on your nerves. If you can imagine what that party would be like, then you’ll have a pretty good idea of what to expect with The Hateful Eight, the latest film from writer-director Quentin Tarantino.